Dec 13, 2012

Christmas Time, again…

I heard recently that there are four stages in life: In the first stage you believe in Santa. In the second stage you don't believe in Santa. In the third stage you play Santa. In the final stage you look like Santa.

What do snowmen eat for breakfast? Snowflakes.

What do you call people who are afraid of Santa? Claus-traphobic.

When a little girl climbed onto Santa's lap the old man gently asked, "And what would you like for Christmas?" The young girl stared at him open mouthed and horrified for a minute, then gasped, “Didn't you get my text message???”

Two young boys were spending the night at their grandparents. At bedtime, the two boys knelt beside their beds to say their prayers when the youngest one began praying at the top of his lungs. "I PRAY FOR A NEW NINTENDO 3DS... I PRAY FOR A NEW X-BOX LIVE... I PRAY FOR A NEW Wii-U..." His older brother leaned over and nudged the younger brother and said, “Why are you shouting your prayers? God isn't deaf.” To which the little brother replied, “No, but Grandma is!”

And finally...

Please accept with no obligation, implied or implicit, my best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low stress, non-addictive, gender-neutral, celebration of the winter solstice holiday, practiced within the most enjoyable traditions of the religious persuasion of your choice, or secular practices of your choice, with respect for the religious/secular persuasions and/or traditions of others, or their choice not to practice religious or secular traditions at all...and a fiscally successful, personally fulfilling, and medically uncomplicated recognition of the onset of the generally accepted calendar year 2013, but not without due respect for the calendars of choice of other cultures, (including those of ancient civilizations predicting impending doom), whose contributions to society have helped make America great (not to imply that America is necessarily greater than any other country or is the only “America” in the Western hemisphere), and without regard to the race, creed, color, age, physical ability, or religious faith of the wishee.

On second thought… MERRY CHRISTMAS!

May the season of Christ’s birth fill you with laughter and joy, too.

Pastor David Hook

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